Rachael Oxford is a male to female crossdresser and her journey began a long time ago. Back in the1950’s.
When she was around four, maybe 5 years of age, Rachael was given a cast-off open girdle by herMother. Rachael cannot recall the reason why her Mother did this, but she does remember wearing that girdle, or ‘Roll On’ as they were often called, a great deal of the time. She even wore it when visitors came to the house and was proud to show it off. Heaven knows what these visitors thought about this as I am sure Transvestism was a dirty word back in those days.
Rachael often used to ask her Mother if she could put her Roll On, on before her shorts prior to going to school, but this was not permitted. So, she contented herself with slipping it on over her shorts when she got in from school.
Now, I have no idea what the fascination was for this garment to a young boy at the time and it would be impossible for me to explain why I felt the need to wear it. To me it was just ‘There’ and I loved to wear it.
Sadly, when the family later moved to a new house, the girdle vanished never to be seen again and I have no idea what became of it. Presumably Rachael’s parents decided to discard it and say nothing in the hope that she forgot all about it and, in truth this did happen.
Rachael remembers incidents involving two of her Aunts who were in their teens at the time, one of which, got really dressed up in seamed stockings, high heel shoes, a big circle skirt and huge petticoat and lovely makeup. Just to go for a walk around the streets where she lived, and she askedRachael if her seams were straight and if her petticoat showed from under her skirt. Well, Rachael was in heaven and was delighted to inspect the seams and petticoat. She then accompanied herAunt on this walk making sure she was close enough to ensure the back of her hand regularly brushed against the skirt.
The other Aunt used to wander around the house in just her underwear of girdle, stockings, bra and a taffeta slip, which were extremely common in the early 60’s and almost every woman had one or more. These slips made an exquisite rustling sound as the woman moved and the nylon stockings and skirts rubbed against each other. Rachael’s Mother also had many of such slips and Rachael always loved that rustle of material.
These incidents are most likely were Rachael formed the love of big petticoats, skirts, slips and stockings.
When Rachael reached her teens, she began to feel the overwhelming desire to wear such items of clothing and she used to sneak into her Mothers bedroom and search through her lingerie drawers and try them on.
When Rachael reached her teens, she began to feel the overwhelming desire to wear such items of clothing and she used to sneak into her Mothers bedroom and search through her lingerie drawers and try them on.
At that time, with hormones raging through Rachael’s body, she became sexually aroused, even at the thought of touching these wonderful items of clothing and the fabric from which they were made. But she still had no idea why she felt this way. She certainly did not want to be a Girl, not that she would have known if transitioning was even possible then.
Rachael was an active sport loving Boy who just happened to like feminine clothing. Of course, at that time in the 50’s and 60’s tights, pantyhose, hadn’t been invented and girls and women always wore stockings and although the schoolgirls didn’t wear seamed stocking they were made of non-stretch nylon which also made a nice sound as they crossed their legs.
As the years passed, I got married and tried my best to persuade my wife to wear stockings etc. but she flatly refused. Later though, after having children, I started buying my wife suspender (garter)belts, stockings Basques and even corsets and for a time she did wear stockings for me. But, not often enough and I began to wear the items myself when I was able and had the time to do so.Thankfully, at that time both my wife and I were pretty much the same dress size, so it was easy for me and I didn’t have to have a secret stash of clothing.
Ultimately, we drifted apart and divorced, not because of my desire to dress I must add. It just happened. But it meant that when I lived on my own, I could really start to explore this side of me. And boy did I!
I have now in the last 14 years amassed a considerable wardrobe of lingerie, hosiery, skirts, dresses, corsets and shoes that is larger than my male wardrobe and I have the freedom to dress as and when I wish. Which isn’t all the time as I still have no desire to be a Woman. Transitioning is not for me. I still love real women and have been in a long-term relationship for over 10 years.
My partner found out about Rachael probably two years into our time together.
My partner found out about Rachael probably two years into our time together and I recall that fateful text I received from her when I was at work. ‘WE NEED TO TALK!’ I just knew I had been rumbled.
We did talk and she asked the normal questions: Are you Gay, do you want to transition etc. I could only reply that no I was not gay, had no interest in men and nor did I want to transition. It was just something that was a very strong part of me, and I needed to do. She already knew that I had manicures, pedicures and facials etc. and in fact she had introduced me to her beautician, which I am still going to every month.
To my partner’s credit, she researched the subject of cross dressing on the web and even bought several books about it, in an attempt to understand what it was all about but she found nothing definitive to convince her that I was ‘Normal.’ So, in the end, she decided that although she knew about Rachael, she did not want anything to do with her.
We remain as a couple but live apart as I know in my heart, were we to ever move in together, she would want to confine Rachael to history. I cannot allow that. Rachael is a big part of me, and I believe that, that side of me, makes me the ‘Whole Person’ that I am. To some extent, it defines me.
I have had the pleasure of visiting various professional male to female make over studios and have thoroughly enjoyed each visit. This has taught me a lot about make up and styling but, my love of big petticoats and skirts, plus the rustle of taffeta slips has never left me so I continue to wear them.
Outside of the make over studios, only my partner and a few other cross dressers I have met, know of my secret life, and although I have been out as Rachael I am content to spend my time at home exploring that side of me. I can go weeks without dressing up but occasionally, I will dress up to five times in a week. However, I always try to wear something feminine under my male clothing, usually a girdle and stockings.
I have always had a fascination with all the wonderful fabrics that feminine clothes are made from. From satin, silk, taffeta, tulle, nylon and a myriad of others and I guess I am a little jealous that male clothes are made of cotton, polyester and sometimes silk, such a limited array of fabrics.
I am no nearer to fully understanding why I dress as I do other than to say that as it is a big part of me, it has become a ‘Hobby.’ A hobby that I thoroughly enjoy and can participate in. It harms absolutely no-one, but sadly, seems to offend so many. Hence, I choose to stay pretty much in the closet, venturing out on very rare occasions.
Rachael has never been interested in other boys/men and is totally heterosexual.
Rachael has never been interested in other boys/men and is totally heterosexual and I realise that this seems at odds with her love of dressing and presenting as a female from time to time. I cannot come close to explaining why this is. Whilst I am very happy to mix with other cross dressers, TV’s,CD’s etc., I have no desire to have anything other than a platonic relationship with them. It is just wonderful to be in the company of other likeminded people.
I am eternally grateful to those ladies who run the studios I have attended. None have been anything other than respectful, kind and thoroughly professional towards me. Always putting me at my ease within minutes of my arrival. And transforming me into a lovely woman for the hours I am there.
Susie Adams at Chateau Femme is my favourite studio to visit. We always have enormous fun and lots of laughs. I also come away with a memory stick with hundreds of gorgeous photos on it that I can look at time and time again.
I know there are thousands, if not millions, of others in this world who like me like to wear clothing of the opposite gender. Some wish to transition into that other gender and there are so many very understanding people out there that are only too happy to help them.
I loved the little quote from the movie/play Kinky Boots: ‘You are never more than 10 feet from aCross Dresser.’ 10 feet may be a little too short a distance, but we are there, and I have no doubt, here to stay.
Thankfully, male to female crossdressing is becoming more acceptable in todays society, although there are pockets of haters, they are rare. But I am always saddened when I learn of a transgender person being assaulted or killed.
I appreciate that this is a very simplistic view but almost all women are crossdressers too. They all wear trousers, slacks, pant suits etc. and no one bats an eyelid at them. But catch a ‘Jock in a Frock’ and all hell can break loose.
I am now a pensioner and any sexual feelings because of my dressing have long gone. It is purely an escape for me. An escape I love to indulge.
I hope that my story touches others and helps them come to terms with who they are. You are not ‘Abnormal’ you are just a human being who is, in my view, blessed with the ability to explore themselves fully and enjoy discovering a side to them not everyone can understand. Not that I understand really. But I love my time as Rachael. I can relax into my other persona, leaving most of my worries behind for however long I wish to.
Rachael
